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How to Tell Whether You Are Celebrating Mid-Atlantic Leather or the Inauguration
It used to be that if you were part of the leather community, you lived it. You lived in a leather neighborhood, went to the leather bar, had leather sex, hosted leather parties, joined leather clubs. Nowadays a lot of the gays in this city live a suit-and-tie lawyerly governmental type life on the surface, while experiencing leather at home in their closets (like McCain’s chief of staff’s closet with the sling) or during special weekends like MAL, where they get to come out and parade in their finest gear.
This being the case, it may be confusing to remember just which cocktail party you are attending at any given moment, especially if the hit of poppers you just did leaves you light-headed. In that case you should just hand the little brown bottle back to the senator and try chatting up Ariana Huffington at the corner bar.
How to tell whether you are celebrating Mid-Atlantic Leather or the Inauguration.
If you’re wearing a tux from an expensive cow, you are at MAL.
If you’re wearing a tux by an expensive designer, you are at the Inauguration.If you wait in line for a coach, which all look the same, you are at an Inaugural Ball.
If you wait in line for a coat, which all look the same, you are at Leather Cocktails.If you will be the next leader of the free world, you are the center of attention at the Inauguration.
If you will be in the next line at the free clinic, you are the center of attention at MAL.
MAL Leather Puppy
If you brought a 21-year-old puppy, you are at MAL.
If you brought a 21-week-old puppy, you are Joe Biden.If Larry Barat is directing the media, you are at MAL.
If Larry Craig is deceiving the media, you are at the Inauguration.If your hotel is full of hungry tourists looking to whip up something to eat, you are at the Inauguration.
If your hotel is full of horny tourists looking to whip someone, you are at MAL.If you shop for souvenir T-shirts, you are at the Inauguration.
If you shop for souvenir J-Lube, you are at MAL.If Mike Rogers is there taking notes, you are at the Inauguration.
If Mike Rogers is there taking notes, you may also be at MAL.If a bunch of white men are losing their jocks, it’s MAL.
If a bunch of white men are losing their jobs, it’s the Inauguration.If you are solemnizing, you are at the Inauguration.
If you are sodomizing, you are at MAL.And finally, this simple rule:
If you fist bump a friend, you’re at the Inauguration.
If you fist a friend, you’re at MAL.New here? Please come back again! (rss)
Posted on January 7th, 2009 - 5:01 pm
Tags: Joe Biden, Larry Barat, Larry Craig, Mark Buse, Mid-Atlantic Leather, Mike Rogers, Obama Inauguration
10 Responses to “How to Tell Whether You Are Celebrating Mid-Atlantic Leather or the Inauguration”
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I definitely like that one! Very creative, very funny.
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If you’re standing in your expensive outfit in a crowded room with hundreds of other people looking for something to eat, you’re at the Inauguration.
If you’re standing in your expensive outfit in a crowded room with hundreds of other people looking for someone to eat, you’re at MAL.
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Tom A. January 8th, 2009 at 4:48 pm
hey you’re cited on towleroad!
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'( '-' )' Bearnaked Joe January 8th, 2009 at 5:33 pm
Hey! Pretty cool. Welcome!
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Anderson Cooper January 8th, 2009 at 9:00 pm
Hey! Found you through Towleroad. You rock!
<3 Coopie
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'( '-' )' Bearnaked Joe January 9th, 2009 at 8:37 am
Thanks Coopie. Hope Kathy Griffin didn’t crack your rib!
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If you have pins on your sash you are at MAL.
If you are with Sasha and Malia you are at the Inauguration.
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pauliebearsf January 9th, 2009 at 6:55 pm
I love it !!!
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Wow. I didn’t even know someone had snapped a pic of me holding the puppy.
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[...] If you fist bump a friend, you’re at the Inauguration. If you fist a friend, you’re at Mid-Atlantic Leather. [...]
