Jesus Christ, Still a Superstar

“Wow, Jesus is really old.”

This was one of the first thoughts in my head as I sat in the audience while the national tour of Jesus Christ Superstar began its show last night at the Warner Theatre. Shortly followed by:

“Oh good, Jesus is going to heal that hot Bearcub that just got stabbed by the Roman Guard.”

It turns out that hot Bearcub was Simon Zealot, one of Jesus apostles, and he would thankfully be seen onstage often – which is a good thing because he was totally gorgeous while Jesus was really old. I mean like so old I couldn’t even look at him. But then again we were in the 3rd row – pretty close. I often found myself blocking the always-brightly-lit Jesus behind the head of the man sitting in front of me. But between Simon and a handful of other muppet actors on stage, I had some nice things to look at.

OK, I’m being a little unkind to Jesus. Jesus was played by Ted Neeley, who famously played the part in the original tour and the 1973 film when he was 30. He’s still got great talent, but this was more of a reprise role. Seeing a performer who is so famous for a part but should no longer be playing it is kind of like going to an old-timer’s baseball game: You’re not necessarily going to get the best show, but you get to experience at least some of the glory that shines through the famous faces on the field. And you can always say “I saw him play that part.” Neeley is talented, no doubt about that. But at 65, Neeley is also likely twice the age of the next oldest cast member, not to mention twice Jesus’ age at his crucifixion.

The production is a bit haphazard. The show book and score itself was laughable, sorry. It doesn’t help that I’m not an Andrew Lloyd-Webber fan, but I knew what I was getting into. I had never seen JCS before, but I enjoyed it for what it was. Really, some of the lyrics were so basic that I’ve lost a little respect for Tim Rice. My ears desperately long for “A Little Night Music” to soothe the assault from last night’s bombardment of sound.

But back to the Bearcub. He is Matthew G. Meyers. A tenor, he’s about 30, not a big bear but a strong stocky build, brown hair and light beard, and cute pug nose. He was actually one of the better performers on the stage, bringing more life even in his background parts than most of the cast. His performance singing Simon’s song was excellent. He also acts as the understudy to Judas, as well as some management parts on stage (I forget the titles; my Playbill isn’t here next to me). Looking at Meyers’ bio in the Playbill though, Dave noticed that he won the Best Actor in a Musical in “NYC’s Fresh Fruit Award.”

Hmmm. “Fresh fruit.” In NYC? Sounds kinda gay. Sure enough, it is! A little Googling will find a lovely photo of Matthew with his husband at Disneyworld (or land) in front of Cinderella’s castle. So this is one of the few times I’ve seen a hot bearcub actor who actually turns out to be family.

I’d include a photo for you here, but I didn’t find any publicly online that does him justice in his Bear-esque look. In his headshot he looks way too pretty and thin. I find that to be a problem with hot bearish actors. Their headshots make them look too much like “actors” than people.

It was a welcome change to see a cast that didn’t all look like buff chorus-line dancers in period costume. On the flip side, they looked like they were still in high school or college – with Jesus as this kind of creepy old janitor that shuffled along with them. The high energy that the cast shows compares strikingly to the low energy Neeley brings as Jesus, making him appear that much older.

I enjoyed the show for what it was. I wouldn’t necessarily recommend it unless you want to see Neeley reprise the role for which he is famous. The staging looks inspired by Les Miserables, with the arched bridge set and the chorus blocking. Even the actor who plays James looks like he should be playing Jean Valjean. If you have a need for bombastic sound and incomprehensible material that takes itself too seriously, JCS might do until the next tour of The Phantom of the Opera comes to Wolftrap. If you want to see a hot Bearcub on stage, see if you can get cheap walkup one-off front-row seats a half hour before curtain. (Not sure if you can.) The show is at the Warner til Sunday.

I am thinking of starting “phallology”

Send me a picture of your penis and $125 and I’ll tell your future.

Here’s a piece on “Rumpology.”

Stallone claims that the left and right butt cheeks reveal a person’s past and future, respectively. She says she has a degree in chemistry, but she must not have studied anatomy or physiology. She claims any doctor will tell you that the body is like a warehouse which stores everything. She thinks that the right buttocks represents the left cerebral hemisphere of the brain, while the left buttocks represents the right hemisphere. Her rump report, she says, can tell you “whether you are going ass-backwards (into that little closet called the left brain)” or are going forward with the right brain.

She even teaches others how to read the future by looking at behinds. José Miranda, for example, learned rumpology from Stallone. The Little Havana (Miami) soothsayer became a hit on the “phenomenally popular and raunchy late-night talk show ‘La Cosa Nostra’ on Spanish-language WJAN-TV Channel 41.”*

Miranda says that rump reading is “no different than reading a palm or someone’s eyes.” That’s no exaggeration. Rumpology works the same way as astrology, cartomancy, metoposcopy, palmistry, and getting messages from ghosts. Although Miranda’s live readings of scantily clad models adds a new dimension to the expressions cold reading, subjective validation, and sympathetic magic.

via rumpology – The Skeptic’s Dictionary – Skepdic.com.

NCAA Madness – Great, Now Who Do I Root For?

I’ve heard that today is the least productive work day in America. This is the day that college basketball fans huddle around these things called “brackets” and flip coins to come up with the magical formula that puts their favorite team in the “Champion” box in the middle. It sounds like fun – kind of like judging a reality show for sports fans. The trick would be coming up with the funny catch phrases needed when booting a team from the tournament like “The Madness has Spoken…” or “Pack your balls and sashay…away.”

I recently returned from a weekend trip with Dave and met a ton of his friends from school, who are now my friends. It almost feels like I went to school with them. I got to spend some time in Lawrence and was on the University of Kansas campus during the Jayhawks final victory of the season. I got a t-shirt, but I still don’t quite understand the endearing aspects of the phrase “Rock Chalk.”

Over Lunch at Buffalo Bob’s BBQ Smokehouse I thought about my two schools – The University of Cincinnati (UC) and Temple University. I suppose if I were to root for a team, it would be Cincinnati. I enjoyed the school and often regret leaving it to go to Temple. Even the school mascot is a Bearcat, which means my being a Bearcat predated my being a Bear by about 5 years. If I recall correctly UC had a pretty decent basketball team (historically – I think they sucked while I was there).

Looking at the brackets, I see that KU is in there of course. But no UC. I don’t even know how well they play anyway, and couldn’t tell you if they are worthy. But wait, here’s Akron. I grew up next to Akron, and while I skipped going there I still had a good number of college experiences, including being part of the Gay and Lesbian alliance. I’m not really a big Akron sports fan, but the “Zips” are one of the few teams I’d know by name without taking to Google.

Temple is also in the brackets. I’m torn about this one. While I went to Temple, I also credit the school’s lack of life with my growing disinterest in college while I attended. Like I said, I regret leaving Cincinnati. When I was there, I felt like I was at school. At Temple, I just felt like I lived in Philadelphia. I loved Philadelphia, but it wasn’t school. Philadelphia taught me an independent city-living life. But it robbed me of feeling like I belonged to a university. I last felt that at Cincinnati.

It’s tough being indifferent when March Madness rolls around. I guess it doesn’t really matter. Everyone has their favorites, but I’m not really a big basketball fan. So I’m not really rooting for a team, but Akron and KU will be my picks in case I’m stranded next to a water cooler with nothing to talk about except the Daily Show/MSNBC feud or how I missed the last Bear Tea Dance because I was in Lawrence, Kansas learning the Jayhawk chant.

Penn presses for a Harvey Milk Day

As anticipation builds toward a high court hearing on gay marriage, actor Sean Penn added drama Tuesday by urging Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger – a fellow actor – to reverse his opposition to a day honoring slain gay activist Harvey Milk.

“I trust that Governor Schwarzenegger is an increasingly reasonable man, and that he understands that passing on prejudices as surround this issue and so many others is poisonous to future generations,” said Penn, according to a video of his appearance. The actor won an Oscar last month for his portrayal of Milk in a film.

Penn appeared at a press conference in San Francisco with state Sen. Mark Leno, D-San Francisco, who is reviving a bill the governor vetoed last year that would have declared May 22 as Harvey Milk Day.

via Actor presses for a Harvey Milk Day – Sacramento Politics – California Politics | Sacramento Bee.

Patricia Redlich responds to ‘Devastated’ parents in Ireland

“WE are shattered. We are devastated” writes:

I am distressed, crying bitterly, and full of guilty questions like where did we go wrong. What did we do, or fail to do? I cannot close my eyes at night without crying out loud and wondering and worrying about him. How can we relieve this situation?

We have not discussed the issue with friends, although some close relations are aware of it. We feel we have to sell our small business and move away from here. I don’t think I can bear this any longer. Yes, we think of the anguish our son must have gone through/must still be going through, his loneliness and isolation. Yet he is happy to visit gay clubs and meet with other men.

We have talked, insofar as we are able. Yet he seems to jolly the whole thing along as if it were the ‘hip’ thing to do to be homosexual. It’s almost as if he’s delighted to say “I’m gay”.

Patricia responds:

You’ve reached an uncomfortable milestone in your life. Deal with it, like adults. This is your son you’re talking about. Irrespective of how he’s handling it — and it sounds like he has gone the somewhat brazen route — he needs his parents to be mature. It’s not just your dignity that’s at stake. Your son needs intelligent support.

This is no time for social philosophy either. We’ll talk some other time about the broader issues around homosexuality. The shock is surely receding now. Get a grip. Put your arms around your son and talk to him. His brazenness after all may well be no more than a defiant and desperate attempt to stay afloat.

via Devastated because our only son says he’s homosexual – Lifestyle, Frontpage – Independent.ie.