Patricia Redlich responds to ‘Devastated’ parents in Ireland

“WE are shattered. We are devastated” writes:

I am distressed, crying bitterly, and full of guilty questions like where did we go wrong. What did we do, or fail to do? I cannot close my eyes at night without crying out loud and wondering and worrying about him. How can we relieve this situation?

We have not discussed the issue with friends, although some close relations are aware of it. We feel we have to sell our small business and move away from here. I don’t think I can bear this any longer. Yes, we think of the anguish our son must have gone through/must still be going through, his loneliness and isolation. Yet he is happy to visit gay clubs and meet with other men.

We have talked, insofar as we are able. Yet he seems to jolly the whole thing along as if it were the ‘hip’ thing to do to be homosexual. It’s almost as if he’s delighted to say “I’m gay”.

Patricia responds:

You’ve reached an uncomfortable milestone in your life. Deal with it, like adults. This is your son you’re talking about. Irrespective of how he’s handling it — and it sounds like he has gone the somewhat brazen route — he needs his parents to be mature. It’s not just your dignity that’s at stake. Your son needs intelligent support.

This is no time for social philosophy either. We’ll talk some other time about the broader issues around homosexuality. The shock is surely receding now. Get a grip. Put your arms around your son and talk to him. His brazenness after all may well be no more than a defiant and desperate attempt to stay afloat.

via Devastated because our only son says he’s homosexual – Lifestyle, Frontpage – Independent.ie.

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