Ex-Gay Leader Writes: "Nothing but Shattered Lives"

John Evans, Co-founder of Ex-gay Ministry, Love In Action:

In the past 30 years since leaving the 'ex-gay' ministry I have seen nothing but shattered lives, depression and even suicide among those connected with the 'ex-gay' movement...

The Colour of His Hair

The Colour of His Hair -- A. E. Houseman:

"The Colour of His Hair"

Oh who is that young sinner with the handcuffs on his wrists?
And what has he been after, that they groan and shake their fists?
And wherefore is he wearing such a conscience-stricken air?
Oh they’re taking him to prison for the colour of his hair.

'Tis a shame to human nature, such a head of hair as his;
In the good old time 'twas hanging for the colour that it is;
Though hanging isn't bad enough and flaying would be fair
For the nameless and abominable colour of his hair.

Oh a deal of pains he's taken and a pretty price he's paid
To hide his poll or dye it of a mentionable shade;
But they've pulled the beggar's hat off for the world to see and stare,
And they’re taking him to justice for the colour of his hair.

Now 'tis oakum for his fingers and the treadmill for his feet,
And the quarry-gang on portland in the cold and in the heat,
And between his spells of labour in the time he has to spare
He can curse the god that made him for the colour of his hair.

-- A. E. Houseman

"Die Fag"

I've been telling people there's a civil war brewing in this country, but nobody has been listening. Read this and maybe you'll believe me. A young gay couple in Polk County, Florida had their home torched and "Die Fag" spray painted on their front steps.

Statewide... there is an upward swing in the amount of violence reported toward people because of their sexual orientation. In the latest state report, for instance, hate crimes based on orientation accounted for a higher percentage of all hate crimes than ever before.

Last week visiting the Spy Museum's "The Enemy Within" exhibit on terror, I was reminded of the violence and murder of the Ku Klux Klan, and how well it was accepted by society. People from all walks of life, including senators, and even the Republican President Warren G. Harding - who was sworn in to the Klan with a secret White House ceremony - were members of the Klan during the revival after 1915. Thousands of Klansmen marched on Washington in 1928 without protest the same year Democrats nominated a Catholic to the White House.

Today it is politically important for Republicans to cater to their party by directing their energy to anything that will restrict the rights of gays, or strip us of our rights to countless things like: raising our own children, helping society by taking in foster or adopted children, forming marriages to build stable relationships and families, visiting our loved ones in the hospital (SHAME on you Republican Governor of Maryland, Robert L. Ehrlich Jr!!), or sharing health insurance .

Today they want to deny society's children the ability to talk honestly about homosexuality. They prefer to ridicule their OWN CHILDREN with shame and horror. They tell their own children that to be gay is to be a sexual deviant. This learned shame and self-hatred will follow that gay youth all through life, and will help guide him or her on important decisions on how to live life.

Don't you think we should be teaching our children to grow up, contribute to society, build a stable and happy relationship, stay healthy, raise children with hope, and live with kindness toward others no matter what? Is that too Liberal an idea?

The violence that happened in Polk County Florida is fueled directly from the same kind of hatred that generations of Klansmen felt. Unless Americans stand up to this hatred, gays will be accepted as targets of arson, attacks, and murder.

---

One thing that struck me though was this quote from the couple:

"I tried to not associate with people here," said Day, who works at an auto-parts store in Auburndale. "We've just tried to stay to ourselves."

As gay people, we need to reach out more to our neighbors. Mr. Day - sharing no blame for this, just trying to live a quiet life - may find there are neighbors who understand him and don't hate him. He may find someone who thinks gay people are icky, who is beginning to become convinced of our alleged "immorality" because his church told him so. But by meeting Mr. Day and having a chance to see just another person who wants to live a peaceful life, perhaps the neighbor will question the blindness their church leaders are teaching them and accept their gay neighbors for who they are.



Meanwhile, in southern Georgia, somebody's gay neighbors are trying to reach out, but Lamar Advertising Company won't let them. Georgia Equality wants to buy billboards with pictures of gay doctors and firefighters that say "I protect you. And ... I am gay. We Are Your Neighbors." According to Lamar Advertising's James Locke, this doesn't meet community standards. The fact that we exist does not meet community standards!

Call Lamar Advertising and tell them that they have gay neighbors who are part of the community standard. SHAME on them! Tell them how disgusted you are by their decision to deny our very existence!


Lamar Advertising Company
Corporate Phone Number: (225) 926-1000

Call the main number, use the company directory and leave a message for President Kevin P. Reilly Jr.

General Information: Theresa Doran
Contact their local offices and ask them what their community standards are.


We must be allowed to be seen for who we are. If we can't, the hatred and violence will only escalate, and actions by companies like Lamar will be what fuels the fire.

Read this follow-up



4 Comments:

*

Hi Joe,

I'm not able to do a trackback so I just wanted to let you know I linked to this post here:
http://www.dailydoseofqueer.com/

~ Maria

By Maria, on July 30, 2005 9:12 PM
*

Hey Joe,

How interesting it is that I run across your blog, read the last 6 months worth of comments and your next post is this. Memphis is where Zach lives as is the Church Program he is involved in. It was weird to be watch Fox News and seeing the words Gay Protesters in Memphis in the news. Whereas the local channels barely covered the event. The Fox affliate here ran the longest segment, just over 5 minutes.

I think you are correct about the civil war that is coming on us. And I know it will begin here in the south. Its sad that cities the size of Memphis, Nashville and Knoxville cannot get enough support to keep even the TN branch of the HRC from doing more than existing.

By Steve Birkla, on August 02, 2005 10:18 AM
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A similair situation also took place here in Oklahoma City. The local Lamar company refused to rent billboards that proclaimed: "Straight or Gay, Everyone Deserves a Job. as well as Straight or Gay, AIDS Does not Discriminate." The company manager proclaimed that the proposed billboards and bus benches did not meet community standards. On the AIDS advertisement, they accepted an Oklahoma State Health Department Advertisement that left out the word gay. Lamar refused to provide those standards. We eventually had to go with another company. This is standard practice of Lamar. Anything that contains the word "gay or lesbian" violates their "personal" standards.

By Anonymous, on August 09, 2005 4:04 PM
*

I left a message for Kevin P. Reilly Jr. of Lamar Advertising expressing my disappoint not allowing Georgia Equality to buy billboards in Southern Georgia.

By James in San Francisco, on August 09, 2005 8:24 PM

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Take THAT, Runaway Bride!

AP: Bride calls off wedding, throws party for the homeless

Bible Does Not Condemn Gays

If you must believe, at least look for the honest truth in the Bible. From the L.A. Times (emphasis mine):

Justin R. Cannon, a student at Earlham College in Richmond, Ind., is one of the youngest combatants in the Christian culture wars. But he's a happy warrior because his contribution to the debate — an illuminating online analysis that argues the Bible doesn't condemn faithful gay relationships — has piqued the interest of clergy and laypeople across the country.

...(Scriptures) in both the Old and New Testaments that have been read to broadly condemn homosexuality were actually directed at particular offenses — male prostitution, a breach of hospitality (the real "sin of Sodom") or the insult to patriarchy represented by a male lying "with a man as one lies with a woman" (Leviticus 18:22).

Direct link to the study

(image from truthsetsfree.net)

The Beast is Coming

Opening 6.6.06: The Beast

imdb: The Beast

This look interesting (emphasis mine):

When her father, a biblical scholar, mysteriously disappears, a Christian high-school student named Danielle investigates. She discovers that he had stumbled across a cover-up of Christianity's best-kept secret: that Jesus Christ never existed. Now that she possesses proof of this dangerous fact, Danielle must confront two strong forces: a band of fundamentalist Christians who will stop at nothing to suppress the truth, and her own desire for Jesus Christ to be real. Diving into factual territory well-explored by scholars but largely hidden from the view of the public, "The Beast" is an epic story of innocence lost, faith in crisis and the astonishing power of the truth to survive.

Will this be a fictional story outlining an argument against Jesus based on fact?

From a message board posting at "The Beast" website:

...Placing myself outside of the world of religions gives me a greater sense of (purpose) than I have ever known before. Suddenly the world is my home and I am a fellow citizen with billions of others. Rather than rely upon the hope of a soon-to-be conflagration of all matter coupled with the relocation of a new ethereal body I realize that I have an even greater responsibility to be a worthy steward of the time and resources that I have been fortunate enough to dwell in. My eternity is in my posterity so to that end I am best served by cooperation, charity, peace and the pursuit and transferrence [sic.] of knowledge.

I know it sounds like a lot, but it makes every day so rewarding. The simple ability to explore and interpret the cosmos without the fetters of religious dogma is reward enough. As you are well aware the pretzel logic that is systemic of any religious faith is enough to drive a person to the brink of sanity at times...

Life is quite wholesome and rewarding outside of cult living. Those of us who live there have great hopes, wonderful beliefs and an even greater sense of purpose and responsibility to all life on the planet...

Amen.

War on Drug Users Takes Another Life

Fighter for Medical Marijuana Kills Self, Scared of Possible Jail Time


SignOnSanDiego.com Obituaries -- Steven McWilliams; activist for medical pot

Please America, we need to end this horrible, horrible War on Marijuana.

A survey of law enforcement agencies by the National Association of Counties found that the biggest threat to the American public is crystal meth. This is not just a gay problem, Mr. Kramer, but a devastating scourge across sexual orientation, race, or wealth. Congress however has decided that Marijuana, a drug that literally has never killed anyone and is widely used among otherwise law abiding citizens, is the biggest threat to America.

Marijuana's illegality then fuels a violent black market that finances the introduction of devastating drugs like crystal meth in order to increase the profit margin. Drug pushers "upsell" you to try harsher drugs. Marijuana isn't a gateway drug, but is the gateway for drug pushers to try to supersize your order with a side of speed. Marijuana legalization would keep marijuana users within the realm of legality, keeping them away from harsher drugs like meth, cocaine, heroin, etc.

Tell Congress to reform the drug laws now.

Get involved:

www.aclu.org/drugpolicy/
www.changetheclimate.org
www.drugpolicy.org
www.mpp.org
www.norml.org/

Sen. Rick Santorum is an Elitist Homophobe

So let me get this straight: Sen. Santorum gives his full support to his gay aide, but wants to deny rights and dignity to all other gay Americans?

Philadelphia Inquirer | 07/16/2005 | A top Santorum aide is gay(registration required)

PageOneQ reports on the article.

Sen Santorum says the fact that his aide is gay and being reported in the media is an invasion of privacy, but the fact that I love my boyfriend and want my right to pursue happiness is somehow his business to attack for political gain?

This is just more evidence how hypocritical Republicans abuse both the religious right and gays to obtain and keep power for power's sake.

Donate to a Gay Cause Now

The radical religious right wakes up every day and fights against us. We just want to live our lives, not constantly be in a battle. We need to build our grassroots and fundraising for gay causes so human rights and dignity become just a way of life.

According to this article, the religious right raises ten times as much as gay rights groups, $400 million to $40 million.

Consider donating something every paycheck. It will balance out the Social Security check that grandmother sends to the 700 Club every month.

Elton John Writes: End Worldwide Gay Persecution

The Observer : Make prejudice history

As the Live8 players took to the stage, central London was also host to a huge Gay Pride march, our annual celebration of lesbian, gay and bisexual people's 'out and proud' lives. There are many parts of the world where such a celebration could not take place, because basic human rights are not respected and people face threats, attacks, prosecution and even possible execution just because of their sexuality.