This was one of the first thoughts in my head as I sat in the audience while the national tour of Jesus Christ Superstar began its show last night at the Warner Theatre. Shortly followed by:

“Oh good, Jesus is going to heal that hot Bearcub that just got stabbed by the Roman Guard.”

It turns out that hot Bearcub was Simon Zealot, one of Jesus apostles, and he would thankfully be seen onstage often – which is a good thing because he was totally gorgeous while Jesus was really old. I mean like so old I couldn’t even look at him. But then again we were in the 3rd row – pretty close. I often found myself blocking the always-brightly-lit Jesus behind the head of the man sitting in front of me. But between Simon and a handful of other muppet actors on stage, I had some nice things to look at.

OK, I’m being a little unkind to Jesus. Jesus was played by Ted Neeley, who famously played the part in the original tour and the 1973 film when he was 30. He’s still got great talent, but this was more of a reprise role. Seeing a performer who is so famous for a part but should no longer be playing it is kind of like going to an old-timer’s baseball game: You’re not necessarily going to get the best show, but you get to experience at least some of the glory that shines through the famous faces on the field. And you can always say “I saw him play that part.” Neeley is talented, no doubt about that. But at 65, Neeley is also likely twice the age of the next oldest cast member, not to mention twice Jesus’ age at his crucifixion.

The production is a bit haphazard. The show book and score itself was laughable, sorry. It doesn’t help that I’m not an Andrew Lloyd-Webber fan, but I knew what I was getting into. I had never seen JCS before, but I enjoyed it for what it was. Really, some of the lyrics were so basic that I’ve lost a little respect for Tim Rice. My ears desperately long for “A Little Night Music” to soothe the assault from last night’s bombardment of sound.

But back to the Bearcub. He is Matthew G. Meyers. A tenor, he’s about 30, not a big bear but a strong stocky build, brown hair and light beard, and cute pug nose. He was actually one of the better performers on the stage, bringing more life even in his background parts than most of the cast. His performance singing Simon’s song was excellent. He also acts as the understudy to Judas, as well as some management parts on stage (I forget the titles; my Playbill isn’t here next to me). Looking at Meyers’ bio in the Playbill though, Dave noticed that he won the Best Actor in a Musical in “NYC’s Fresh Fruit Award.”

Hmmm. “Fresh fruit.” In NYC? Sounds kinda gay. Sure enough, it is! A little Googling will find a lovely photo of Matthew with his husband at Disneyworld (or land) in front of Cinderella’s castle. So this is one of the few times I’ve seen a hot bearcub actor who actually turns out to be family.

I’d include a photo for you here, but I didn’t find any publicly online that does him justice in his Bear-esque look. In his headshot he looks way too pretty and thin. I find that to be a problem with hot bearish actors. Their headshots make them look too much like “actors” than people.

It was a welcome change to see a cast that didn’t all look like buff chorus-line dancers in period costume. On the flip side, they looked like they were still in high school or college – with Jesus as this kind of creepy old janitor that shuffled along with them. The high energy that the cast shows compares strikingly to the low energy Neeley brings as Jesus, making him appear that much older.

I enjoyed the show for what it was. I wouldn’t necessarily recommend it unless you want to see Neeley reprise the role for which he is famous. The staging looks inspired by Les Miserables, with the arched bridge set and the chorus blocking. Even the actor who plays James looks like he should be playing Jean Valjean. If you have a need for bombastic sound and incomprehensible material that takes itself too seriously, JCS might do until the next tour of The Phantom of the Opera comes to Wolftrap. If you want to see a hot Bearcub on stage, see if you can get cheap walkup one-off front-row seats a half hour before curtain. (Not sure if you can.) The show is at the Warner til Sunday.

Artist rendition of Adam Dunn in a Nats hat.

Former (Cincinnati) Red and forever redhead Adam Dunn is joining the Washington Nationals. Between Dunn and Zimmerman, the Nats lineup is looking hot. We’ll see how they play. The 6′6″ power-hitter will be introduced at 3:00 in Nats colors.

WASHINGTON — The Nationals will make it official Thursday afternoon when they introduce first baseman/outfielder Adam Dunn at a 3 p.m. ET news conference at Nationals Park. Dunn agreed to a two-year, $20 million contract on Wednesday. Dunn, 29, and general manager Jim Bowden have a history together with the Reds organization. Bowden drafted Dunn in the second round of the 1998 First-Year Player Draft. Three years later, Dunn was in the big leagues and eventually would become Cincinnati’s best power hitter. Dunn, who will join Ryan Zimmerman in the middle of the lineup, has hit at least 40 home runs for five straight years. Although he has a .247 career batting average, he has a .381 on-base percentage and can play both left field and first base. via Dunn to be introduced this afternoon | MLB.com: News.

BLOOMSBURG, Pa. – A Pennsylvania couple is behind bars after police say they failed to call the bank when a glitch put an extra $175,000 in their account.

Authorities say 50-year-old Randy Pratt and 36-year-old Melissa Pratt instead withdrew the money, quit their jobs and moved to Florida.

Couple: We didn’t notice $175,000 bank error – Criminal weirdness- msnbc.com.

Austin Allan: Winner 2008 Metro Weekly Nightlife Coverboy of the Year

Austin Allan says he’s not at all the same person he was 10 years ago. ”I don’t even know that person anymore,” he says with a laugh.

The 28-year-old Allan doesn’t look like him, either. During an interview in the tidily kept room he rents in a spacious and beautiful Mount Pleasant brownstone, he presents his original passport photo. The now always short-cropped, auburn-haired knockout used to let his thick, naturally curly hair grow. For his college ID, he even bleached it.

”Tragic,” he laughs.

Austin Allan: Winner: 2008 Nightlife Coverboy of the Year: Click Here to see more of Jeff Code’s photographs.

SciFi.com: Rogen Promises Hornet Preview

He’s playing the title role of the Green Hornet, he hasn’t shot one foot of film yet, and he’s still working out communications problems with the director, but Seth Rogen told SCI FI Wire that he hopes to have something available to show fans at Comic-Con next summer.

“Comic-Con is my favorite event of the year,” Rogen said. “It’s more fun to me than the movie premieres, than anything. I love Comic-Con. All of our friends come down for it, and we just have a really good time, and it’s always a lot of fun. I would love nothing more than to be able to show something at Comic-Con.”

In fact, as he noticeably buffs up and slims down for the role–though he has yet to shoot any footage for the movie–Rogen said he is meeting this week with studio executives and director Stephen Chow to discuss what they could possibly have ready for the international conference in San Diego, which begins next July 23. Rogen discussed becoming the superhero Britt Reid during early interviews this past weekend for the animated DreamWorks film Monsters vs. Aliens, which is coming out in the spring. In that film, Rogen voices the part of an amorphous blob named B.O.B. as part of a team of monsters that includes creatures voiced by Reese Witherspoon, Hugh Laurie, Will Arnett and others.

But he’s announced his retirement today, so let me take this moment to say goodbye to a great pitcher that I loved to root against. Thanks for some great years in baseball, and for your adorable face on the mound.

Complete Game: Greg Maddux Walks Away From Baseball With 355 Wins, 4 Cy Youngs – CBS News

(AP) Greg Maddux grew up with the same weekend ritual as so many other American kids.

Tagging along with his big brother, he would run down to the park to play ball against the older guys from the neighborhood in regular Sunday scrimmages.

He met a pitching coach who preached movement over velocity, and pretty soon Maddux was striking out those stronger teenagers. Nearly three decades later, he walked away from baseball Monday as one of the greatest pitchers to put on a uniform.

The metrognome transformation, by contrast, is completely inorganic and owes nothing to actual appearance. As ‘metro’ implies, there is an element of deliberate grooming and styling involved.

The metrognome will often claim a beard is for warmth. But there is also an element of dandified defiance to it: the metrognome says: I am not part of ‘the system.’

Meanwhile as furry cheeks and chins have come back in style this year, I’ve been noticing a certain type of guy, often a hipster or very close to it, but that I call a “muppet,” with due apologies to Jim Henson. A muppet often has glasses or big eyes. A muppet often has at least a shadow of a beard, but more often has neglected shaving completely, with scruffy cheeks and neck. Muppets are goofy. Muppets are cute. Muppets are attractive enough to be in a commercial for yogurt or computers, but with the notable exception of Seth Rogen you won’t usually find a muppet sex-symbol at the movies. (Yes, I said Seth Rogen is a sex symbol.)